Kids, Curls & Tangles
Hey there!
Chances are, if you’re reading this blog, you’ve got some curly kids or know some curly kids! Or you have a child whose hair tangles!
So Hi!
Mother of four here; with a curlie, a curlie wavy, and a thick wavy. I, myself, have curly hair but it wasn’t really until the last 5 years that I really started figuring out just what to do with it, how to take care of it and what to use and avoid.
Photo Credit: Sarah Ann Photography
My three wavy/curlies are 15, almost 12 and almost 7….and when they were younger it definitely posed some challenges. And over time, as my kids have gotten older, their curls have changed, becoming less curly and different curl patterns. It seemed like no matter how hard I tried, tangles would start happening the same day. And after a night of sleeping? Oh man, it was tangled and tight as if it was called Fort Locks ;) haha And inevitably the arguments and whining that would ensue anytime it was time to wash their hair played on the nerves.
Have you ever brushed your child’s hair for them to act like you’re the literal worst ever, yet see someone else do your child’s hair and it was the most peaceful, angelic act ever? These were my kids.
One time, I kid you not, I pretended to brush; I didn't even put the brush to her hair and she reacted like I pulled it out of her head! Well, well, well. One would think that I would have known all the answers, having curly hair myself, but every kid is so different! And I didn’t grow up knowing how to manage my own, truly, until I was in my 30s. When I started my journey with Bounce, I knew I was in the right place to get better ideas, answers and a system for helping my kids (and let’s be honest, helping myself to help them!).
Here’s a few things I learned-
Kids tend to move a lot in their sleep, which will result in tangles from rubbing their hair back and forth. A silk/satin pillowcase can help lessen this. AND/OR a sleeping cap/bonnet (this will greatly help!)
Try to avoid putting your child to bed with wet hair, and avoid throwing it up in a “sleeping bun” when it’s wet. (Did you know that going to bed with wet hair, pulled up like that can actually cause mold and more issues with the hair? Eww, I literally had no clue)
Don’t brush your child’s hair when it’s dry; you can cause more damage from trauma to the hair and cause more trauma from the pain of tangles. Also, this is a great way to lead to quite an interesting look
Avoid parabens, silicon, sulfates in cleansers and conditioners
After cleansing hair and applying conditioner; using a wet brush, start detangling from the bottom upwards in small sections. (Don’t brush from the top down, it can tighten any tangles and knots)
If applying product, apply while hair is still wet, in the shower/tub
Gently squeeze out excess water with a terry cloth towel, or even a T-shirt, to dry hair. Avoid rubbing head all over with a towel or vigorously drying
If going to bed, I recommend to braid the hair to keep it protected as well
Avoid tight elastics- scrunchies are great!
Don’t leave a ponytail in for swimming and then just leave it. Remove the elastic. Either wash/condition hair or wet down and use a detangling spray - detangle from the bottom and go upwards. (Braids or swimming caps are also a great option for protecting hair when swimming)
Get regular trims. This might sound odd, but not getting regular trims can cause hair to tangle more often; split ends worsen and can lead to more damage.
What happens if you find a matted area of hair?
Don’t fret! It happens! And it happens to the most experienced and diligent parents; it is not an indication of poor care! As our children age, they get to a point that they may not quite be old enough to manage everything on their own, but old enough they need some autonomy with their body and private shower time. This is the stage that mats can often show up, as the child has difficulty brushing through their own hair in the shower and adequately getting through it (especially the back of the head/nape, this is a common area that is difficult for them.) So hair that should be brushed away and out, often gets just pushed down to the nape area and begins to “build up” and tangle and then we have a lovely mat.
Last year my 11 year old daughter, who has curly hair, had a very bad mat at the nape of her neck. I felt frustrated, sad, guilty, and shame that this could happen. BUT like I said above, she’s at an age that I can’t just be in the shower with her! She was upset. I was upset. We both shed some tears in the beginning and then we got into working through it. Trust me, I understand all the feels that come along with this! Managing mats can be frustrating and exhausting, BUT it is possible to do without having to shave the mat out or your child’s hair. (Sometimes this is still the solution, but doesn’t always have to be).
I love using Deva Curl’s Wash Day Wonder. Wet the hair slightly, with either a spray bottle of water or briefly holding it under a shower or sink at low pressure, and slather in the product. (Most treatments are meant to be applied to damp hair, if you let the hair become dripping wet, it may be more susceptible to breakage) Beginning from the bottom, ends of the hair, using your fingers, you can gently pull apart areas that are looser, separating the hair in the mat. You can use a wet brush to gently work at these areas that you’ve separated. A fine tooth comb, a brush with beads on bristles that aren’t a solid piece with the bristle itself (like beads that you could actually pull off) likely aren’t the best choices for this; it can cause too much resistance when trying to brush, and hair can get caught on these beads. A wide tooth comb is a great tool for this as well.
Here are some affiliate links from our website shop for some of these items I mentioned:
https://bounce-hair.alternativebeauty.ca/search?controls%5B1%5D=wet%20brush
https://bounce-hair.alternativebeauty.ca/search?controls%5B1%5D=detangling%20comb
https://www.shopbeauty.com/hair/product/33373-devacurl-wash-day-wonder.html
It takes time and patience (lots of it) to get through; this can be both a frustrating time for both you and your child. Distraction is a great tool; their favourite TV show, playing a game or watching a show on the ipad or phone- while this may not always be allowed, it really can help during these moments. Set aside a dedicated amount of time to be able to do this; in the middle of cooking dinner and doing work, or having to be out of the house by a certain close time is probably going to create more stress. And if it comes down to it; you can always contact a professional!
And remember, these things happen. To the best of us.
What are your tricks to managing through?
Got more questions?
Feel free to contact any of our team members! www.getbouncy.com/team